Coping with COVID Grief: How to Move Past Guilt After Losing Your Mom | Nicole Weston Life Coach, QCP™ Practitioner & Podcast Host of Can’t Call Your Mom
Welcome to the Can't Call Your Mom community. If you’re here, you understand that losing your mother changes everything. In this episode, we began the conversation of unpacking the unique experience of losing a mom during COVID. For those of us who share this experience, there are collective layers of loss and grief interwoven with the pandemic.
The Unique Pain of COVID Loss
Recently, I shared a video on social media about the guilt and pain I felt regarding how my mom and I spent her last holiday before she died. While many showed up with love and sympathy, I was unprepared for the hate and judgment I witnessed in the comments—people judging decisions about following rules when it came to my mother. This reaction highlighted a clear need to change the narrative around how we deal with grief.
For so many of us, the loss during COVID meant we didn't get to say goodbye, hold their hand, or show up and do the things we know we should do. Afterward, we were often unable to be in community with our family or move through the essential rituals of grief. This profound impact is different when you don't have a choice in the matter
Emotions as Information, Not Identity
Many of us carry tremendous guilt from that unique loss, and that guilt can severely interfere with how we love and take care of ourselves. It’s crucial to understand the distinction between guilt and shame, as described by Brene Brown:
Guilt says, “I did something wrong.” It is focused on behaviour.
Shame says, “I am wrong.” It is connected to our sense of worth and identity.
If we believe we are wrong or unworthy of support, that guilt can prevent us from moving on, succeeding, or living a beautiful life. This is where we change the narrative:
Your feelings are not connected to your identity. How you feel does not define your worth. Your feelings are simply information, letting you know what is stored in your body and what you are being asked to move.
The Power of Moving Your Emotions
Grief has so many layers that don't just disappear after the first week or year; I grieve my mom every single day. Unresolved grief causes significant mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual pain. To evolve and heal, we need practices and rituals that encourage us to grieve differently—in a way that is whole.
My invitation to you is to begin the process of noticing your emotions, allowing yourself permission to feel them, and then choosing to move them.
When you stuff these emotions—anger, shame, rage—they don't disappear; they stay in your body and create heaviness and tightness. They spew out at the most inappropriate times, like misplaced anger at a coworker or frustration over chores.
But when you move that anger, shame, or rage, what is on the other side is love. Love for yourself, your family, and your mom. It comes down to standing beside yourself and saying: "I see you. I love you. It's okay". That simple 45 seconds of acknowledging and moving the emotion can save you days, months, or years of feeling stuck.
An Invitation to Self-Compassion
Remember these three pieces:
You are not your emotions.
Your emotions matter.
Who you are is not defined by how you feel.
Wherever you are on your grief journey, give yourself permission to stop the opinions, the expectations, and the shoulds. Give yourself the grace and compassion you deserve.
To help you begin this work, I created the Can't Call Your Mom Anger Workbook Guide. You can download your free copy today and start taking care of yourself at nicoleweston.ca/workbook.
Want to meet up online and dive in deeper?
Maybe you have done the work. You have made real progress. And something still feels stuck.
That's not a failure. That's biology. And it has a solution.
Why You're Still Stuck: The Biology of Unresolved Grief Free Masterclass · April 15, 2026 · 11:00am EST
For the motherless mother who is ready to stop managing and start clearing it — from the root, in one fully integrated session.
Come learn the science. Experience the tool. Feel what's possible for you. You can Register for your free spot here
Listen to the Full Episode 7
Photography: Heather Whitcombe https://www.whitcombecreative.com/
