The Anger Nobody Warned You About: A Love Letter to the Women Who Are Furious Their Mom Is Gone | Nicole Weston | Life Coach|Host of Can't Call Your Mom
I was angry at my mom for dying. Not at grief. Not in the universe. Not in the timeline. At her.
I didn't know how to say that out loud for a very long time. Because how do you tell people that you're furious at the woman you love most?
The woman who is no longer here to defend herself, to explain herself, to look you in the eye and say — I know. I'm sorry.
So I kept it inside. And it lived there — in my body, in my nervous system, in the back of my throat, for years. Episode 5 of Can't Call Your Mom is the episode I wish I had in those early years. It's the permission slip I needed and never received. And I'm sharing it with you now.
Grief Is more than sadness
We've been fed a story that grief looks like sorrow. Soft. Melancholy. Quiet. But for so many of us , especially those of us who are motherless mothers, running businesses, raising children, holding everything together — grief shows up loud. It shows up as rage.
And then the shame comes. Because we're not supposed to be angry at our moms but I was deeply angry and I didn’t know what to do with it. Until I did.
"I was angry that I had to incorporate this amount of pain into my life. I was angry that she stole what my life was supposed to look like."
That was real. That was grief. And it was valid, even when nobody around me could hold it.
Where the Anger Hides
Here's the thing about unexpressed anger — it doesn't just disappear because you don't look at it. It gets stuck. It sits at the top of your neck. It lives in your chest. It shows up as the capacity you've lost, the business-building energy that's gone, the patience that runs out faster than it used to.
Grief doesn't always look like grief. Sometimes it looks like burnout. Sometimes it looks like disconnection. Sometimes it looks like staring at your mom's picture and feeling a fury you don't know what to do with. Emotions are energy in motion. When we don't move them — they get stuck. And they work against us in every area of our lives.
The Rage Rituals That Actually Work
In Episode 5, I share the practices that helped me move the anger out of my body so I could access more love on the other side. Here are my go to’s:
The Pillow Scream. I know it sounds simple. But it works. Grab a pillow, scream until you feel it, let your body move it. Emotions are energy — they need somewhere to go.
Write the letter. Not the sweet one. The real one. Say the things you couldn't say to her face. Fuss. Be honest. This is your space.
Come back to yourself. After you move it — come back. Breathe. Acknowledge that how you moved those emotions is not a marker of how much you loved her. It's proof that you're human, and you're doing the work.
You Belong Here
"Your emotions do not define you. They are indicating what you need. And what you need right now is to move them — and to know you are not alone."
If you've been carrying this anger alone, quietly, ashamed, wondering what it says about you, this is your sign. It says you're human. It says you loved her. It says your grief is real, and it has been asking to be moved for a long time.
Can't Call Your Mom is a movement for women who are living, loving, and leading after their mom dies. Who refuse to choose between grieving and growing. Who are done doing it alone.
I am honoured you are here love,
→ Listen to Episode 5:
→ Join the community: https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbZEHq7v2zWhwJfc/
→Get your copy of my Anger Guide Book: https://www.nicoleweston.ca/anger-guidebook
I am sending you so much love.
Nicole Weston
Nicole is a Transformational Life Coach and QCP Practitioner with over a decade of experience helping driven people resolve the root of their patterns, not just manage them.
She has guided 300+ clients through breakthroughs in money, relationships, identity, and business. Her approach works at the level of the unconscious mind, which is why the results are lasting. She is also the host of the Can't Call Your Mom podcast and a mom of two.
Photography: Heather Whitcombe https://www.whitcombecreative.com/
